If I had asked myself this question a few years ago my answer would have been a resounding ‘never‘!
But….life sometimes takes you on different paths just to prove that your beliefs are not as stable as you think. You can find that your thoughts and answers to the ‘Questions of life’ can change quite drastically. For the better? Not too sure on that one. Ask me in a few years time.
We all know perfectly well that there is good and bad in this world. You cannot turn the TV on or open a newspaper without that fact jumping out at you. However, today I want to talk about the good and bad that can effect our very existence, the good and bad that is closer to home and personal.
We all get hurt by someone close to us. A husband, wife, child or friend – it does not matter who they are. Those closest to us can hurt the most. Then you have those that are close to you and, you know they have a heart and care, but they still want to hurt you in any way that they can. The pain from this hurt is the silver lining of all pains. So why does it happen especially when you truly don’t deserve to receive such hurt?
I have agonised over, digested and agonised all over again, this very question. My conclusion is – I don’t know and I don’t think they know either. Sometimes when a person is hurting badly they will turn against the one person they love and they then become the enemy. All their fears and anger gets channeled onto you. You have caused all the pain and suffering because you did not do…….you have caused this to happen because you should have……I would not feel like this if you had…….the list just goes on and on.
The world does not revolve around one person. Our lives have many factors that we should and have to consider especially when we make life changing decisions. To balance all these considerations is far from easy. Whom do we let down or upset, what can we do to help to balance the scales, how can we make it work for everyone, what do we ourselves actually want to do. There can be so many considerations to work through and agonise over when such a decision has to be made but… there is one thing for sure, we are not going to please everyone.
When a person channels their anger and hurt at another person close to them, feelings get that intense they cannot see anything other than the thoughts in their head. They wear blinkers and will not accept any action or words that don’t fit into their self made picture of events locked away in their minds. They only hear certain words in a sentence which are then used against you to justify their anger. The problem with this is that everything gets taken out of context and it does not matter how many times you try and explain, nothing else gets heard. You are talking to a brick wall that has gone deaf. Their pain, self made or not, is just far to intense.
This title is so understated. It should read ‘Being a mom is bloody hard!’
If you are a lucky mom you will have family around you when your baby is born and in the years that follow. Family to guide you, support you and simply ‘just be there’. Don’t get me wrong, this does not mean that they are at your beck and call every minute of the day or live in your shoes day and night, but simply to be there for you at the end of a phone or, in this day and age, FaceTime/Skype. If you are extremely lucky you will have close friends who also have/had children and can relate stories of how they coped with just that emotion you’re experiencing or that wonderful tantrum you are trying to control when in the street.
Some of us aren’t that lucky and find ourselves doing what we can with the knowledge we have, albeit very little. I was just one of those moms. I had no parents or close friends to rely on and I was young and very naive. But, with lots of love and a certain amount of intelligence you can raise your child to be just as great. Morals and manners are easy to teach and worth every minute of your time. They are a great grounding for adult hood. Hearing from our family and friends how little Tommy was potty trained or how Sam was reading at the age of 2 is often unhelpful anyway. We all know that children are different. They grow at different stages, their development comes at different times and speeds and …. very importantly, we should never compare children with each other. Does it matter if your child is not reading at the age of 2 but little Sam is on her next boxed set of books? 99.9% of the time the answer is no. Children catch up very quickly. By the time they go to school the gap will be a lot smaller albeit if any gap at all.
We automatically want our first child to walk, talk and generally grow up far to quickly. We have that sense of pride when others notice that little Dan is no longer in nappies and he has only just had his 1st birthday! The second child is different. We are not in such a rush. We have learnt that children grow up far far too quick and we try and savour each stage of our child’s growth. With the third child (I would imagine this to be true as I only had two) all rule books go out of the window and the child dictates what they do and when they do it.
Problems start when they grow up to be teenagers and adults. But… that is for another day.
My advice to all moms – enjoy every minute with your children and never regret the ‘me time’ that you don’t seem to be able to get because you need to bath your child, sort their clothes, make meals or just read to them. You will get the ‘me time’ you need and far too quickly. I promise.
Deep down we all know that money is not the ‘be all and end all’ but …..in this modern society we live in today it is necessary if we want to live comfortably. However, what is the definition of comfortable and how much money do we need to achieve it? I believe that the sum of money you need to be comfortable cannot be quantified. Why? Living in London you will need more of the ‘cash’ to live the same life as you would in say, in Thailand.
So my definition of comfortable would be whether I have enough food, shelter and love around me to live a good and happy life. I personally have too much food, have a lovely ‘shelter’ and lots of love. I am one of the lucky ones. If I was to loose one of those elements, my life would soon turn upside down. It has happened to me in the past but, in time, I managed to replace that missing element which allowed me to live life again with a smile.
The future is unpredictable – you may have years of happiness still to go but you may not! Make everyday count. Don’t let others put you down, make you feel worthless or insecure. If they do, get rid and quickly. You deserve better.
Sometimes we can overlook the smaller things in our life. However, if they ceases to exist or exit our lives, we may find a hole in our very existence. That hole could be filled with other similar things, but occasionally, filling that hole is like trying to put a square peg into a round hole. It just cannot happen.
So…. Continue reading
Rules of my house.
1. If you see dirt, clean it up.
2. No number two. That’s it!
Living with two rescue dogs and a man, the house does not stay clean for long. In fact, blink and you could easily miss it completely. I always warn friends to wear dark glasses if they don’t want to adhere to my house rule.
Once upon a time I was fanatical about sweeping dog hairs up from the floor, mopping paw prints off the tiles or wiping finger prints off doors left behind by my lovely man who goes around blindfold. But…..age and life experiences have taught me a. Life is too short and b. There are more important things to do, such as living your life.
Don’t get me wrong, I still like my house to be clean but not to the extent that it cannot be left in a ‘state’ for a short period of time. Some time ago now I purchased my first Henry. My not so old Dyson had died and I was desperate. I immediately fell in love with Henry. Great suction, great attachments and a wonderful long electric cable. It simply makes my life easier with less hassles. Isn’t that what we all want. My second great purchase was my steam cleaner. My only gripe is the length of its cable. It is far too short. To overcome this problem I have added an extension. Not perfect but it does the job. Click on the pictures below and take a look. I cannot recommend them more. Just brilliant.
All I need now is a cook, washer upper, dog groomer and walker, gardener and someone/thing to do the ironing. My life would be sorted.
I must add these items to my bucket list.
Life began in Cyprus 10 years ago now. For the first 12 months we were on holiday. We went out for meals in the many tavernas, drank the local Keo beers, enjoyed the family who came and went at regular intervals, swam in the med most days and enjoyed the weather. What a life.
But, reality kicked in as it often tends to do. We needed to earn money as our savings were dwindling. John, who was already a UK Chartered Accountant, sat the Cypriot Law and Tax exams and I started voluntary work and painting. We opened a local shop which served as John’s office and a place I could sell my paintings. I say paintings but I am certainly no artist. I put colours together! Life was busy but the sun shone and people were happy.
10 years on and life in Cyprus has not been 100% easy but that would be the same in any country wouldn’t it? Continue reading
Why move to Cyprus? I have been asked this simple question many times but the answer is not that straight forward. But, here goes….
The answer has several parts which, put together, made our decision. John was getting more and more stressed with work and general life in the UK. The weather did not help either, it was terrible. Wind, rain, cold and just miserable. Then there was the fact that my sister had not long died. This was hard for me to come to terms with losing such a strong and formidable individual as Pat was. Life was not easy and we were not getting any younger.
We had often dreamed of retiring to the sun and initially thought of Lanzarote but prices there were going sky high. We started coming to Cyprus more and more. The prices were cheaper and the life style was good. So good that we decided to buy a penthouse apartment, that had spectacular views of the Mediterranean, to use as our future holiday base. It was going to be our first stepping stone onto the property ladder for when the day came for us to retire in the sun. But that was a long way off yet! Or was it?
Take a look at Peyia Sea View Penthouse – it is for sale. For more info contact firstname.lastname@example.org
One night while sitting in front of the TV John said, Continue reading
In my last blog I introduced Charlie. Our golden boy.
When Charlie was around 18 months we considered whether he would benefit from having a canine friend around the house. He was getting very attached to us – not a bad thing at all but I did worry that he was becoming more human than dog! He did not want to leave my side. He watched every move I made. Was he bored?
We took a trip to the local dog sanctuary to take a look at the lost dogs in their care. There were over 129 dogs and the numbers continued to grow each day. We asked to take 3 of the dogs out for a walk to see how we all got along. We chose three similar looking dogs to Charlie and off we went. Please don’t get me wrong, they were perfect dogs. But..they were not Charlie or nothing like. It just did not feel right with each one of the lovely boys we walked.
As we returned from our last walk we began to head for the door when we notices 7 or 8 puppies in a cage. As puppies do, they were all scrambling to get to us. All except one. He was a white and beige pointer cross pup that sat in the corner and looked really sad. I had seen that look before 18 months ago! John and I just looked at each other and knew immediately that we wanted to take him home. But…. Continue reading